How to get a child to morning kindergarten by 8:00.

First, you must be a morning person by nature. Or else your child is doomed to be late at least a few times.

Then you must wake up quite a bit before all the rest of the members of your household, shower, dress, and do whatever it takes to gather all of your wits about you. On the days I skip this step, those are the days I'm running back into the house gathering up the 20 things we forgot.

You wake up your kindergartener who jumps out of bed and starts telling you the story of the dreams he had for the last 10 hours in detail.

Then you wake up your 4 year old who whines incessantly about everything for the next 3 hours because she is not a morning person. She will insist upon being carried down the stairs. With her big blanket. And her little one. And 3 stuffed animals. And oh no! We lost Polly Pocket's shoes- tragedy has struck. So you will now be digging around in a toddler bed in your work clothing working up a sweat before the day has begun.

Provide cups of milk and television refreshment.

Check the clock while you get yourself ready, the dog ready, the house ready, and breakfast ready for the kids and pack a lunch for myself.

7:15: hand your kindergartener breakfast. Put it on a kid's chair so he can eat on the family room floor in comfort and not spill.

7:18: run upstairs to grab clothing for both kids and at least 2 outfit selections for the fickle 4 year old.

7:20: show kids clothing. Give kindergartener breakfast #2 as the dog has eaten breakfast #1. Shove the dog outside and run upstairs to get another outfit as the kindergartener now only wears "skinny jeans and size 6 shirts."

7:22: Try to get the 4 year old dressed in vain. Plug ears to the drama that ensues. Threaten preschooler that she will stay at the house alone if she does not get dressed. Get 4-year-old dressed.

7:24: After third trip upstairs, and 4th trip up and down family rm. stairs, let dog back in, finish getting ready for work. Make sure all weather-appropriate outerwear is by the back door for 3 family member and the backpack is ready to go.

7:35: Tell kids to get coats and shoes on.
7:37: Tell kids to get coats and shoes on.
7:40: Tell kids to get coats and shoes on. Turn tv off. Listen to whining kids.
7:42: Tell kids to get coats and shoes on.

7:42 Blockade the couch so the dog doesn't sleep on and ruin the cushions all day long.

7:45: Tell kindergartener and preschooler to please hush for just a moment so mommy can think and make sure we have everything.Try to remember everything, listen to the kids freaking out about who is first and who gets to press the garage door opener. Sigh and be happy that you all made it out the door.

7:49: Get the kids out of the car. Do a daily check of "How many degrees is it today?" Remind kindergartener 4 times to grab his backpack. Take forever to walk to the school, and across the playground to the line. Listen to both kids complain if it's too hot, wet, stinky, snowy, cold, etc. End up carrying the preschooler half of the time. Smile knowingly at the other moms ushering their kindergarteners into school carrying their whining preschool girls. Another busy morning under your belt. Go to work. Go to bed. Start all over in the morning. Mornings were 10 times more difficult when the kids were babies, but some days it's the incessant banter that makes it feel more like climbing a mountain to get out the door.